I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
