Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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