Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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