This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
