its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize