When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
