he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
