Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
