he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
