3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
