Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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