Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you will always have a special place in my vag
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
