worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
