It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
