No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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