You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
