I am puke
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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