jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
