I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was born a porn star she said
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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