why didn't you poke me back
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
