I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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