I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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