I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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