well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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