I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
