It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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