so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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