Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
