In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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