Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
