I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
