I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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