id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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