i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
