someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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