i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
