those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
