she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
