dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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