she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
