mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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