Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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