FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize