Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
