Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
