seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
