OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
