You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
