That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
