Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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