Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize