Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
