I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
