They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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