All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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