so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
