That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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