Its about making memories worth repressing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
