it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
